You AIN'T a bad btch!

WTF! I'm so over these btches feeling themselves TOO MOTHERFCKING MUCH! Why does every girl feel like they're a bad btch? Explain to me HOW you're a bad btch! Fck how people are a bad btch, let me tell you when you are not, cause clearly, herein lies the issue.

1. You're not a bad btch when you can't pay for shxt yourself. Now, I'm not saying you have to be doing something crazy hard to earn this money. Motherfcking doctor or engineer. I'm saying, you must have your own. You're a fcking gold-digger? Cool. But please have that money stashed away for when he is ontothenextone. Just saying.

2. You're not a bad btch because you have a "body." Most btches who say they have a body are fat girls in spanx. Dead serious? Btch please! There are many btches who are hella skinny & still a BAD btch. With almost NO motherfcking curves. Please explain to me. Because you have a "fat" ass...AND the stomach to go with it bleh.

3. You're not a bad btch when you follow every trend out there. A bad btch does WTF she wants to when she wants to. Why are you watching trends & peeping other btches' game? Do you motherfcker! You're a trendSETTER right? Set some motherfcking trends. Please&thank you.

4. You're not a bad btch when you talk shxt behind someone's back. Now there is nobody who can say they have never said something about someone while they're not there. It's impossible. When you have any emotion occur inside of you, most likely you'll talk about it. But when you see this person & don't say SH*T, you're a sad btch, not a bad btch. Please understand & know your place.

5. You're not a bad btch if you call yourself a Barbie, bad btch, pretty much any phrase Nicki Minaj uses to describe herself. If she is your idol, the reason you use these words, kill yourself right motherfcking now. If you need any materials to assist with this task, let me know. I will provide for any in need. Thank you. A bad btch does not [I repeat NOT] need to identify herself as such, other people just know. It's a motherfcking given.

Ugh! So much more I could&should write, but I'm off that. I have music to listen to, shopping to do, and emails to return. Goodbye. And oh yeah, happy new year.

Les Boom!

Is it just me or is everyone a lesbian nowadays [or at least bisexual]. I'm not talking about experimentation, I'm talking about check the box here, scream out from the mountains, full-blown LESBIANISM. My question is why?

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against anyone's sexual orientation. Honestly, I don't really give a damn about anything unless it affects me. I'm selfish that way. But I mean, it's something that is easily noticed. The Gay Pride Parade alone shows how much of a force they have just in NY. Then all around the country, you see pictures of the happy lesbian couples getting marred in states that allow.

It's just like, where are they all coming from? Is it because they feel like it's more accepted? It's no longer taboo to be a lesbian and now everyone can be free about it? With media pillars like Ellen DeGeneres & Cynthia Nixon being open about their sexual preferences, everyone is just okay with it. [Because of course celebrities set the fuxking trend.] There's also the fact that it's more open in television. Before it used to be guys doing gay things to each other. And parents protested the hell out of that. Now we have shows like the L-Word, which is highly addictive, to encourage females to embrace their sexuality.

Are more girls just turning to lesbianism as a way to heal their hearts broken in heterosexual relationships? There's been a lot of man-hating lately. Keyshia Cole saw her record sales dive because she's on some real love shxt. Nobody is feeling that. Everywhere I go, all I hear is "niggas ain't shxt!" Guess, women are...

IDK. I'm actually happy about this increase. Woman more than double the amount of men on this earth. More lesbians = less competition = more guys for me. LMAO. But I was just curious.

Now I have to find out if there's been a boom in gay men. I think it's the case in NY is not more gay men, just more out of the closet. But at least they're not undercover anymore. Cheers to that! Because gay guys make the BEST friends. They're good at keeping secrets ;]

P.S. - If you're offended, speak on it. But don't be all pissed off, cursing & shxt. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

"Thick" Girls vs. Slim Chicks

Disclaimer: Fat/Large girls please, don't be upset. This is no disrespect. This is my opinion. You don't have to agree. Feel free to disagree, I'm all for it. And laugh, it's meant to be taken funny. Monique said skinny bitches are evil. I laughed, read the book and kept it moving. Still love her. Why? Cause only you can decide who and what you are. Keep that in mind.

So being a slim chick, this topic is close to my heart. LOL [I'm sorry, everyone says shxt like that so I thought I'd just take it there]

But honestly, there is an epidemic of people [of the larger persuasion] hating on slim chicks. Why is that? I don't understand what my body has to do with yours? I feel like a lot [not ALL] of "larger" chicks are insecure with their weight. That's the only explanation. And it pisses me off. The lies you tell yourself to get by are so sad. Let's run it down:

1. "Thick" girls have curves. - Might be true. The problem with this is the key word is thick. A lot of y'all are just over-motherfuxking-weight! You were not born to look like this! You just overstuffed your face and now you're a big girl. Big not thick. Therefore, your ass could be just as flat as an anorexic. I have seen many a fat girl wish for an ass, so you can't tell me shxt.

2. Slim girls [cause not every girl is skinny, they're just not big] can't cook. - I come from a Caribbean family. They teach you how to cook before you get to preschool. I was the only girl in kindergarten wondering why they gave us fake food in the kitchen area. I can cook up a variety of things thanks to my childhood. Eat that fat chicks!

3. Slim girls don't eat - Incorrect. It's been proven that slim people in general tend to overeat. People who are naturally slim tend to have a faster metabolism than the average person. They are usually active and need more energy, so their body is constantly sending hunger signals. That's why they tell you to exercise and be more active when you're younger, to speed up your metabolism, and stop childhood obesity.

4. Slim girls don't have curves. - wrong! I have seen many a slim girl built Ford tough. Please don't get it twisted. You can have a shape no matter what size you wear.

5. Slim girls tend to be hoes. - Now this one, I had to poll some dudes. I mean I just thought any girl in general could be a hoe, but my size 12 friend told me this one and I had to know. Most dudes said that they were with a lot of freaky slim chicks, but big girls overall tend to be freakier. Many believe it's because the girl felt they needed to put in more work to keep them. A lot of them talked about self-esteem issues. I don't really know about that, so I guess I'll go by them.

The list goes on, but this was a lot of typing already. Maybe I'll make this a continued series. This is going to be my topic for my independent psych study. Can't wait to get started next semester. Whoo! I see the fat mob heading for my house already. . .LMAO. Check out this youtube video I found dedicated to the big girls.

Easter Is About Renewal

"And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith." [1 Corinthians 15 v. idk] Can't remember what the verse is, but this quote stuck with me. Paul the Apostle, the ever wary preacher said this. I can't help believe he is right. The Resurrection of Christ is one of the biggest acts God committed. If we can't believe in that, how can we believe in anything else the Bible states? It's through acts that power is shown.

That just made me think about people. It's through their acts that we get to know them. When people hurt you once, it's usually assumed that they'll do it again. And that's why people are so closed these days and only rely on themselves. Ms. Independent or the Boss. There's that "I don't need a thing from you because I have me attitude." Everybody has been hurt by somebody and is determined to not be hurt again.

This is a major problem for the human race, in my opinion. You close yourself from feelings and what's left? A person who can't feel the pain of a bum, the joy of a kid winning a competition, the sadness of a loss. Can we really call that a person? A walking robot is more like it.

And also, how can you be sure everything is how you perceive? One day, Jesus was dead. Three days later, not only was he alive, but he was higher than he ever was before. Today, I talked to a guy I haven't spoken to in years, probably 4. We had a falling out while I was in high school and haven't spoken since. Today, he told me something that changed how I felt about everything that happened. He explained why he did some of the things he did and my perception of the situation changed.

Life is mix of having faith, reading actions, and still being open enough to understand that everything is not always what it seems to be. A never ending circle where sometimes one of these three is more important than the others, but they're all in constant play. Let Easter, if nothing else, remind you of that.

I hardly have time to sleep, but I just had to write that. Happy Easter!

P.S. - Check out the reason why eggs became associated with Easter. Don't stay ignorant. =]

Spit Or Swallow?

Once again we were having the female forum yesterday. Somehow we ended up talking about oral sex. I remember how but I won't put people on blast. LOL Then T was talking about swallowing and D was totally disgusted & hence, the forum. There were 4 for spitting and 2 for swallowing. I abstained. LMAO

My thing is this: what's really the difference?!

You both already put dude's penis in your mouth. You done slobbed, spit, licked, and sucked on it. The cum has already been in your mouth and you've basically been gargling with it (after he busts of course), so you've obviously swallowed SOME of it.

Now again, what's really the difference?

To me it sounds like people being hypocritical. It's okay for you to suck him off, but not to swallow his cum? Cum (from a clean, healthy male) is actually full of protein and sugar. My human sexuality teacher described it as "egg white in vanilla ice cream." Now if you're worried that the cum is not safe, why would you even suck him off in the first place? Also, wouldn't your partner be offended that you're spitting his shxt out. It's almost as if you're saying you're too good to swallow HIS cum. But it wasn't that hard for you to get on your knees. . .

Maybe I just don't know what I'm talking about, but to me once the dick has been in your mouth, it's all the same thing. I hope you female tobacco chewers continue to take pride in what you do. But the swallowers keep it real. Hi-five to them! LOL

P.S. - This is not an endorsement for oral sex. Please, don't feel as if you need to go suck dick to speak on this topic. And say no to drugs. And stay in school. That's it.

P.P.S. - Twitter is the shit! Follow me.

And You're O So Swagless

This all started with Twitter. My friend Amanda & I just took it to a new level while we were a bit tipsy [okay basically fuxked up but that's where ideas are born!]

What if people could purchase swagger? So many possibilities and questions. Here are my thoughts:

1. First, you need a working definition of swagger. From what I have gathered from various sources, it's a demeanor. It's the way you carry yourself and cause people to interact with you. It allows people to be drawn to you in a crowded room even when you're dressed down. It's magnetism and intensity. It's your first impression. [Working definition, feel free to comment about anything that you feel needs to be added]

2. Now, what kind of swagger would you sell? Wayne's gangsta pussy eating swagger? Jay-Z's business swagger? T.I.'s hard knock life prison swagger? How would vendors know what kind of swagger to sell and what kind of swagger would customers want to buy?

3. How much would people be willing to pay for swagger? I mean obviously, it happens to be within reach of the masses who need it. Would the government subsidize swagger purchases? What if you need Jay-Z swagger to close a deal or Beyonce swagger to pass dance class?

4. Would using swagger become the equivalent of performance enhancement drugs? If you use Einstein swagger [not intelligence, just swag] and happen to pass your test, is that really cheating? I mean it is just swag.

5. How would people take swag? Pill or liquid? Would you be able to mix it in your drink every morning?

6. How long would swag last? Would it be a one time thing? Or do you have to take it everyday like a shower?

7. And does swagger always produce results, no matter the subject? If I gave a bum a shot of Wayne swag, would he be able to get girls like Nivea?

Think of the possibilities. All you biologists and chemists need to get on that. I see a lot of people who are in need of your service. And there is money to be made.

Fashion or Foolery?

My rant today? Fashion. Is it just me or does everyone dress exactly the same way? It's like you're either 80s, high fashion, or grunge. There is no in-between or variety. And I'm tired of it. Why the fuxk do you have to look like Beyonce in the Diva video every time you leave your house? You don't have Beyonce's body. So at the end of the day, you end up looking ridiculous! I see all these fat bitxhes trying to squeeze into some tight shxt because they think it's sexy. That's a no sweetie.

And dudes? Don't get me started. A dude gets a Gucci belt and thinks he's flyer that Soulja Boy, not like he should be anyone's idol anyways. Oh wow, a Gucci belt. That you probably got on sale, for your birthday, for Christmas or on Canal Street [bootleg y'all!] Ugh, I'm extremely over it. I would prefer a well-dressed gentleman with subtle name brands [if you choose to wear name brand clothing] over a flashy, LV shoes, riding on 24s, Lacoste & 25¢ chain wearing bum with credit shot to hell. Cause y'all know you buying that shxt w| money you don't have and won't be able to get.

I'm sorry, but imitation is not the best form of flattery, a compliment is and always will be number one. Admire and then do you because you can't do anyone else and damn sure not as well as they do themselves. Feel free to draw from others creativity, but twist it to fit you. Otherwise we end up with what we have know, a whole bunch of people looking exactly the same.

P.S. - Follow me on Twitter. I get bored often. LOL

If Looks Could Kill

. . .I'd be a dead bitxh!

My rant today: the female sex. What the hell is wrong with us? Every female I meet is like "don't judge a book by its cover. You have to be open and judge people on personality. Not just looks." Oh really? Then how come I am always being judged by these bitxhes? For nothing more than keeping myself groomed & up to par. I swear it's everywhere I go.

I get on the bus with a nice coat and some fly ass kicks. The rest of my outfit is fly but they can't see all that. I sit down, look around, and notice every bitxh on the bus is stealing glances at me. I kid you not, every damn female. And it's not the "I love your shoes" kinda look. It's the "who does this bitxh think she is" look. You don't even know me! You don't know anything about me and yet, you hate me. Not even disdain or dislike, but straight up hate. For no effing reason.

I hate my gender to the point that if I go on a job interview, I want a male. Not because I want to use sex appeal of any kind, but because I know I'll have a fair shot. He's going to judge me on me. Nowhere in the back of his mind is he thinking. "she's pretty, I don't need competition." Which I swear is what every female must think when they see a pretty female. It's like can we please uplift each other because who the fuxk else is going to?

Minus myself and some friends, I've never heard any female tell another that she looks sexy. What's wrong with that? If someone looks good, I'm going to say it. If I like your dress, I'm going to say it. Compliments are not illegal, nor are you putting yourself down. You're just telling it like it is.

Confidence makes a female sexy. I can see why most of you girls are single. Get it together. Talk to me when you grow up.

Social Media = The New Hookup Spot

Apparently, the thing to do is hook up via social media, i.e. Facebook, Twitter, etc. Someone just DM'd me on Twitter the other day talking about "you single?" No hi, my name is etc. Nothing. It's very sad. So I've decided to express some things I feel need to be known about dating/meeting people through social media. It's going to have to be extended segments because there is too much to say in one post.

1. First impressions are important. Do you want the first thing the person sees from you to be "you single?" Subtract the fact that the person may not know you this intimately, it's impersonal. How do I know you didn't just DM that message to 10 other people at the same time. You should come correct the first time because with some people [like myself] that's all you get.

2. Don't be someone you're not. I know this is especially hard for people who have the "online alter egos." The problem is you [hopefully] will meet this person. I think they will realize that your green eyes & freckles are really contacts and a whole lot of pimples. No fake pictures, fake personalities, and even faker materialistic objects. Unless you can make a Range Rover appear in thin air.

3. Everything is NOT everything. A profile, blog, bio can only tell you so much. Don't think that by reading two lines about someone's likes, you're in expert on their life. It takes years to become the person you are at this moment, and this is not who you will be when you die. Remember that it's the same for other people.

4. Meet up. If you want to have a REAL relationship, you have to meet the person you're courting. [sorry, I ♥ that word] First off, you have to prove they are who/what they say they are. Second, you just need to get to know a person in a physical setting. I suggest a public place because you met online. Very public and safe. Don't get yourself kidnapped and blame me. LOL

5. Don't be a stalker. Duh right? You'd be surprised. You're friends on Myspace, Facebook and Twitter. All of a sudden, you find yourself constantly checking the facebook to read status updates. Trying to hack the myspace. Shxt happens. I've had people text me the answer to a question I asked on Twitter, & I didn't even know they were following me. Let me just say, it's extremely creepy. It pretty much gives off a bad signal. Avoid at all costs.

I'm tired so that's all I have for now. Part 2 soon.

Man Down, Code 10

Chris Brown's career seems to be spiraling down quicker than the damn economy [if that's possible] and so it should. Putting your hands on anyone [let me make it clear, males or females] is wrong except for extreme situations. If you put your hands on anyone for a reason that isn't life-threatening, it's wrong. Yet, somehow I'm madd at this whole situation.

I'm madd Rihanna is getting all this media attention for getting her ass beat. Women around the world face worse violence on a daily basis. There are women who have acid thrown on them by their husbands. A woman was just beheaded in NY for serving her husband w divorce papers. [read here] Now I'm really sorry for Rihanna; it's a shame what Chris did. But wake up people! This is one of those "there's worst shxt in the world" cases. I hope this brings attention to the women who don't have the fame or money like Rihanna. The women that cops tell to "work it out" with their partner. The women who can't fight back. That's who I'm rooting for. Rih Rih will be just fine. She has the world behind her.

Next, why does everyone feel like Chris' music is evil incarnated? There is a difference between a musician & his music. His image, life, personality can be the total opposite of his music i.e. R.Kelly the R&B sexual predator. I refuse to stop listening to anyone song of his that I like because I have never liked him. I reiterate, never liked Chris Brown as a person, but like some of his music. Since he didn't write all of it, I don't see the need to remove him from Itunes. Please learn to separate the business from the personal. It would make life in general easier for everyone.

And those are my thoughts on this crazy situation. Waiting for the court date. . .

My First Love

It was you. You that I have always wanted. You drove me to wake up every morning. You pushed. I studied hard because you inspired and intrigued me. You helped me to understand people. Why they are the way they are. Why they do the things they do. Hurt when they want to love, cry when the want to smile, etc. I've always been in love with you, even though I never dared to admit it. To admit was to trap myself with you forever. For years, I wasn't ready. And then one day, I was. I think it was in between applying to colleges and prom. I decided that you were what was best for me. You were what I wanted for the rest of my life. Suddenly, my plan was set.

You are my first love, but no longer my only. I've come to love another with the same intensity, the same passion. Each night I find comfort in the thought of spending my life with another. Not only comfort, but joy. I want to fight on the side of my new love for equality for all races. I want to continue the momentum we have. Improve the school system. Right wrongs. I want to be a hero. If to no one else, then at least to myself.

I use to think you made me a hero. I'm sure if I went with you, I still would be. A different kind. On a person to person basis. You would help me fight for their self-esteem. Their mental health. Their lives. Equally great opportunity.

I love you Psychology, but Law is just better in bed. Goodbye my love.

P.S. - I may be back next week, how about an open relationship?

D-Day

Today I wait to hear the lyrical genius of Aubrey bless my IPOD touch. I wait [impatiently] for the link to be posted so I get become drunk of the high-priced raw crack trickling through my headphones. Why isn't it here yet? It is KILLING me. I thought October babies stuck together?

Peanuts for Giants

Mediocrity. It's a word people don't use often. I think it scares them. Yet that it the state we're in now. Everyone is mediocre at best. Everyone is settling. Whether it's at their place of work, in their personal relationships, or the education. It's suddenly okay that your job is paying you way less than you deserve. It's okay that your partner had a one-night stand. It's okay that you got a C⁺ instead of a B⁺. Why?

It's a question I find myself asking continuously. Look at the economy. You want a job right? Then make one. Start a business! Now is the perfect time with the government throwing out money. Yet people seem hesitant to take that first step. Everyone is afraid of failure. The problem is that with failure comes experience, which is worth just as much as winning. Experience helps you fix the bad & keep the good.

I'm not saying be stupid. If you went to school for communication, don't think of opening a medical practice. I'm saying evaluate yourself, pick out your strong suits and find/create a job that is both appealing and attainable. You can do something well. Everyone can. Now you have to find something that caters to your best qualities.

Being subdued by mediocrity is not an option. It shows a lack of imagination or passion. What if slaves were happy just being clothed & fed? Yeah, that's an extreme, but it's the same concept. Being complacent leads to stagnation. A total stop. Contentment with things below your means, wants, desires, objections, and goals.

My mother told me people being complacent is what brought the economy to where it is now. I believe she's right. We're slaves to our fears. Arrested with terror. Selling our self-worth for way below the price. And the chains hold tight.

P.S. - I swear I'll blog more & read more blogs. Mainly because I'm bored at work. LOL

Dumb Broad!

I haven't blogged in a minute. busy w| getting classes, work, looking for work, and partying. It leaves me with a packed schedule. I don't even get to watch the shows I freaking DVR. But that's another story.

Why I am I writing today? Read the post title! I usually don't use that phrase. I find it offensive and demeaning. Yet sometimes, it just fits. I don't know what else to call these females that I see. Besides maybe pathetic. What's my issue you ask?

Everywhere I turn, there's a female taking crap from a dude! I'm not talking about an argument here or there, that's regular relationship stuff. I'm talking about outright verbal abuse! And for what? I do NOT understand why females continue to allow themselves to be put down, in 2009!

It's bad enough that we're still looked upon as second to males by many, but then you go and make it look like a reality. Newsflash: you can walk away. From any situation. A lot of people stay because of a fear that no one else will love them. They feel ugly. They need this person.

You don't need anyone who doesn't treat you how you deserve to be treated. Every person is unique, in whatever way. That uniqueness should be celebrated, always. Especially by the one you call your "significant other".

I'm tired of men, riding the bus and calling their girlfriend/wife a dumb whore. A slut. A needy child. You name it, I've heard it. And I'm disgusted every time. I often find myself having verbal arguments with these dudes. But at the end of the day, you can't change those who don't want to change.

That goes for the female as much as the male. If she chooses to continue to stay with him, she's taking a risk. A risk that her self-esteem will continue to lower until she has none left. A risk that the abuse can escalate to something physical. The risk that she may end up killing him because she just snaps one day.

It just pisses me off. And I know people will say, something probably happened to them in the childhood, etc. Those are excuses. Something happens to everyone, that's just fuxking life. I've had two major surgeries and stopped breathing during one. Whoop dee doo! Shit happens. You have to control your life and take responsibility for you. Because no one else will. Nor should they.

P.S. - The picture is the cast from the Vh1 show, "Tool Academy." They treat their girlfriends like utter shit and are awarded with $100,000 for it. Only in the USA.

Get With It Or Get Lost

warning: this is a rant, just to vent.

I'm so pissed right now. I hate when people try to complete change you instead of accepting you for who the fuxk you are! You knew who I was from the beginning. I didn't lie or pretend to be something I was not. I am me & that's pretty much all I can be. Gradual changes comes with growth, but a complete 180 is impossible. Just like it's impossible for an alcoholic to be cured. You can only take it one freaking day at a time. And you have to want to better yourself. And honestly, I don' think there's anything major wrong with me.

Is it wrong to say I don't care & actually NOT care?
Wrong to dress for me & ONLY me?
Wrong to say what I feel and NOT lie to you?
Wrong to be honest [brutally] when it's what you NEED to hear?
Wrong to go out & enjoy myself?
Wrong to just live my life my way WITHOUT hurting anyone?

Why the hell can't I be who I want to be. I can give a fuxk about society & fitting in & doing like everyone else. I'm nothing like anyone else. I'm ME. That's good enough for me & the rest of the people I allow in my life. And if you don't like it, fuxk off & keep it moving. It may hurt for a while, but trust me I'll live. I've lived through worse.

I wish you nothing but the best though.

RelationWHAT; justacuttybuddy

IDK why people always come to me for relationship advice? As if they don't know I'm very blunt & honest. I'm not gonna BS to make you feel better. But here is what someone brought to me recently. . .

At one of my normal get togethers, a close friend of mine (Taylor) and an acquaintance (no name) hooked up. [Not actually in my house cause EWWW!] They met there and hooked up, whatever. Now Taylor is a blunt kind of dude and told no name that he had a girl and was not trying to be in a relationship with her. Said girl was hooked on the sex and told him that she would be fine with playing the sidelines. So this continued on for about 2mos.

All of a sudden, said girl comes to me like "you need to talk to Taylor about how he's stringing me along & cheating on his girlfriend." Umm, que? One, whythefuxk am I the one who must speak with him and two, stringing along? From jump, you knew what he was looking for out of the relationship.

Ahh, here is the issue. A relationship. You're not in one. You can't expect all the benefits of being in one when you're the side girl. You also can't be madd if you get tired of it & he cuts you loose. I mean, he was straight with you from the beginning. He could have been very mean and kept his business to himself. He put it all on the table and you accepted.

Why do people expect everything to just morph into something different? When people say they want to be with you and not in a relationship it's usually for two reasons: they don't want a relationship but need to be fulfilled in some kind of way [emotionally, sexually, and mentally etc.] or they don't feel like you're the type of person they would want a relationship with at the moment.

I'm sorry if that hurts, you suddenly feel like you can do better or you thought you could convincemake it something more, but that's not the other person's fault. I personally hate when boys all of a sudden get attached and then get all possessive, jealous, etc. You can't force people into a relationship. Remember, you're just the cutty buddy. Don't overstep the boundaries.

Also remember, if you choose you can leave & find someone else where you can be more than that. It's all up to you.

Porn Is So. . .BORING!

So my male friends said girls are NOT suppose to watch porn. I guess writing this is incriminating myself. But I only really spend any time with males! I guess that's just an excuse. Oh wells, I have to discuss this.

Porn is so boring! Now, I'm not naive. I know the point of porn is to get people aroused, etc. Yet, I remember back in the days when they used to have story lines. Interesting ones at that!

My favorite was about this woman who was an assassin. She used to have sex with all her marks before she killed them. Then she had sex with one guy and fell in love cause the sex was that good. But he had been hired by 3 mothers of some of the people she killed to eliminate her. He fell in love too. So the mothers ended up fucking his brains out and then killing him. The assassin figures out what happened, killed two of the mothers. The last one was like her mentor, so of course she lost. But they ended up being a lesbian couple.

Now that was a great porno. Nowadays it seems like people are just watching Ayana Angel and Pinky fuxking a different guy every video. Barely any foreplay and it doesn't matter where they do it. Now sad to say, some men use these women as guide to the type of females they want in their lives. Even sadder to say, many guys get their sex skills from these videos.

Imagine some guy slobbing all over a girl's vagina for all of like 3 seconds and thinking he has great head game. Imagine her doing it to him for like 20 minutes and him thinking that is what foreplay entails. Then he pumps her missionary and doggy style for like 10 minutes yelling expletives and thinking he's the shit. Then imagine all of this happening in what looks like your parents' basement, shitty lighting and ugly ass never used furniture included. Ooh and don't forget the girl coming in with no bra, just a tacky fishnet outfit and him keeping his dirty ass sneakers on the whole time.

And how can I forget about the sunglasses?! Sunglasses are the new condoms! You must have them on at all times. SMH. And want really creeps me out about these cheap motel fucks? The random observers. You can see people all watching when the camera hits a mirror and I'm like who the eff is that?! Then sometimes they actually speakcheer on the fuxking couple. Am I the only one creeped out by this? Like wtf? Guess porn stars don't care about the privacy. Or awkwardness.

The future generations should be afraid, very afraid. This is what sex will be like for you. SMH!

P.S. - I think I might start petitioning for pornos to have a storyline. Who's with me?

New Year. . .Same Me

It's 2009. With all the hype about it, I figured it would be way more exciting.

It seems everyone wants to change who they are in '09. Transformations abound. Is it weird that I want to stay exactly the same? I mean, growth comes with every situation you experience. But it seems that people on trying to make total 180s. From a Beyonce to a Sasha Fierce. Yet I want to stay me.

I'm comfortable with who I am. It's taken a lot of time & energy to get to a place where I can honestly say, I like me. I like the way I look, think, communicate, feel and live. I wake up every morning just glad to be me. I put in too much work to go around becoming a different person.

In '09, I'm focusing on the people that surround me. I want to have people that can help me have the right experiences. People who are focused on their goals [whatever they may be] and becoming a better person but not a different person. People who can accept that I come with flaws, but see that my strengths outshine them all. People that love me for me, period.

I also want to grind more. I became a little laid-back and satisfied with where I was at, which is wrong. There is no rest for the hungry. You grind, grind and then grind some more. I need to start going out to more events, writing more, doing more internships, probably go back to Canada. Just do more. I'm setting the bar higher for me and my wonderful group of talented individuals. '09 is the year for the people who deserve more or just better. Let's get it.