Pet Peeves: Take 1

I had a really annoying morning. It seemed like everyone wanted to push my buttons. I decided to do a pet peeve list. Writing things out always makes me feel better.

1. When people push you to get someplace you're going with them - Living in NY, I understand the MTA situation is often frustrating and complicated. DO NOT blame that on me. Why are you almost knocking me over to get into the same train I'm walking into? AND it's not as if I walk slow, I use my long legs wisely. Please behave like your mother gave you home training. First come, first serve.

2. When people walk slow and then try to block you from passing them - Listen, I did not ask you to move at .5/mph. The average speed of a human is 3mph. My average speed is about 6mph. That means you need to get the hell out of my way. ASAP! I am probably on the brink of being late and I'm not in the mood for any shenanigans. [Only applies on streets, not in any cramped subways like the idiot the led to pet peeve #1]

3. When people try to get loud when you push them - Well if you would have let me pass you in the middle of the wide street that you somehow have managed to completely block, I wouldn't have to push you. And it was not even a push, I tried to squeeze by your fat self but as skinny as I am, I still brushed you. . .just barely. Don't let the glasses fool you, I'm from Brooklyn too.

4. When a guy says hey ma or something to that effect - Umm, I have a name. You don't know it. There's a reason for that. I don't know you nor do I want to. Especially when you dared to call me slim goodie and expected me to look. Is this how you usually get females? Or maybe you just don't get any. I see why.

5. Jumbled up messages on the subway - I finally get on a train and sit. Then I hear this bs service message that is not understandable due to the bs train speakers and the operator's thick accent. Next thing I know, the train pulls into Timbuktu. And you say you announced it? Then why is everybody on the train ready to jump you? I see why they are giving people 7years for assaulting an MTA worker. The mayor obviously knows they need the protection.

6. Girls talking very loud and ghetto - I don't want to hear about Melinda fu*king your best friend's man. I could careless. I also don't need to know the last time you got tested for an STD. From what I heard though, you'll be hitting the clinic real soon.

7. People staring at you - You are not slick. I have peripheral vision. I can see you gawking at me. Yes, I'm amazing. Look once and then look away. I don't want you. I don't want your man. Hell, I don't care if we went to preschool together.

8. Dudes arguing with the baby mommas - Oh, you just bought the baby Huggies yesterday? You're getting a job at McDonald's. You are THINKING about taking classes at a trade school. Oh yeah, who cares but you & her. Lower your voice because honestly you're just embarrassing yourself.

9. People asking me if I'm sure a MILLION times - There's a seat. I don't want to sit. You sit! Don't ask me if I'm sure 50 million times. I'm an educated young woman. I'm neither stupid or retarded, just polite. Sit down guilt free, I'm sure.

10. When people do everything they can to act like they're hot sh*t - Oh you have an IPhone? Wasn't that subsidized and don't over 5 million other people have that. You have an ITouch? Guess what bit*h, mine is engraved. And I didn't spend a dime on it. You have some Sephora lipgloss, mine is from MAC. ALDO shoes? My custom Nikes cost more than that. You have friends to talk to on the phone, me too. You have a boyfriend, me too. No need to talk all loud and attempt to draw attention to yourself. You're not as super as you think.

That's all I can remember right now. What a sucky morning! I can't wait for 5. . .All this stuff is kind of funny now that I think about it. Chuckle worthy because I'm still upset, so it can't get a full laugh.