The Repeat Offender

This is the first post in a series I'm thinking about doing on friend types. We'll see...

Today I want to discuss the repeat offender. This is the friend who no matter what, seems to do the same thing over & over to offend/annoy you. These friends can come in various shapes, sizes, and colors. What do I mean by that? Let's take a look.

There is the "you're always doing this sh*t to me" type.
Now I hate when people put their hand in my food. It's a boundary thing. I don't know where in hell your hands have been and I didn't see you wash them. Oh AND you didn't ask me, which is just a no-no. But I have one of those friends that whenever you're eating, she is there grabbing. Oh no. I had to end that but more on the ending later.

There's the "you're always doing this to yourself" type.
This is the stupid friend that constantly annoys you with problems with life issues, such as her boyfriend. Now this wouldn't bother me except you've dated the same man 4 times in the last half a year. Are we serious? He does some sh*t to you (I mean plays you hard, even MY feelings are hurt), you guys break up. You ask me for advice, I tell you what I think. A few weeks later, you're with him AGAIN. WTF? And after I wasted all my damn time consoling your weak ass, you don't even have the decency to let me know. I gotta check that sh*t on facebook? #FAIL

Finally, there's the "why are you always doing this?" type.
This is friend may not be doing anything directly to you. I have a friend that shows up late EVERYWHERE she goes. She isn't directly hurting me, but people know we're friends. Every time she's late, I can feel people looking at me like "talk to your girl. It's just annoying as hell. If everyone else figured out how to make it here on time with public transportation, so can your ass.

Now what to do with this friend. I say cut them off. Why? Obviously, they are a repeat offender for a reason. I assume (I mean y'all are friends) that you've already spoken to said person about these issues. Yet they continue to do the same sh*t. Now there are only two possible outcomes:

A) You begin to internalize and harbor ill will towards this person. Every time you see said person you want to (as the lovely lady from Bad Girls Club put it) "snatch a btch!" It doesn't matter if what they're doing is good or bad, right or wrong. Their presence just drives you up the wall. This could possibly lead to option B.

B) You actually "snatch a btch!" It may start off as a verbal confrontation. Depending on the personalities of those involved, it could escalate to a physical level. Now you're on your way to assault charges over some person that you shouldn't have been friends with in the first place.

Bottom line: They are bringing nothing but DRAMA into your already cramped life. Cut 'em loose. One less friend means less weight on your back.

Questions.

As I grow older, I question myself more. Sometimes I wonder if I question myself too much. I can't seem to do a damn thing without thinking, "what will happen to me in the long run if I do this?" Most people would say this is a good thing. I disagree.

I feel like I'm stifling myself. Almost as if I'm not really living life. It sounds crazy but that's what it is. I feel like I'm missing out on all the things that you're supposed to do when you're young. I'm not even 21 yet but my soul feels so much older. Burdened. Heavy hearted.

I know life is about learning through experience but I think that people forget that it is the type of experiences you have that make you who you are. Serial killers aren't born that way. Neither are racists, man-haters, wife beaters, etc. Maybe life should be about something more than experience.

But maybe I say this because right now, mine seem to be going in the fck sh*t why direction...

You AIN'T a bad btch!

WTF! I'm so over these btches feeling themselves TOO MOTHERFCKING MUCH! Why does every girl feel like they're a bad btch? Explain to me HOW you're a bad btch! Fck how people are a bad btch, let me tell you when you are not, cause clearly, herein lies the issue.

1. You're not a bad btch when you can't pay for shxt yourself. Now, I'm not saying you have to be doing something crazy hard to earn this money. Motherfcking doctor or engineer. I'm saying, you must have your own. You're a fcking gold-digger? Cool. But please have that money stashed away for when he is ontothenextone. Just saying.

2. You're not a bad btch because you have a "body." Most btches who say they have a body are fat girls in spanx. Dead serious? Btch please! There are many btches who are hella skinny & still a BAD btch. With almost NO motherfcking curves. Please explain to me. Because you have a "fat" ass...AND the stomach to go with it bleh.

3. You're not a bad btch when you follow every trend out there. A bad btch does WTF she wants to when she wants to. Why are you watching trends & peeping other btches' game? Do you motherfcker! You're a trendSETTER right? Set some motherfcking trends. Please&thank you.

4. You're not a bad btch when you talk shxt behind someone's back. Now there is nobody who can say they have never said something about someone while they're not there. It's impossible. When you have any emotion occur inside of you, most likely you'll talk about it. But when you see this person & don't say SH*T, you're a sad btch, not a bad btch. Please understand & know your place.

5. You're not a bad btch if you call yourself a Barbie, bad btch, pretty much any phrase Nicki Minaj uses to describe herself. If she is your idol, the reason you use these words, kill yourself right motherfcking now. If you need any materials to assist with this task, let me know. I will provide for any in need. Thank you. A bad btch does not [I repeat NOT] need to identify herself as such, other people just know. It's a motherfcking given.

Ugh! So much more I could&should write, but I'm off that. I have music to listen to, shopping to do, and emails to return. Goodbye. And oh yeah, happy new year.

Les Boom!

Is it just me or is everyone a lesbian nowadays [or at least bisexual]. I'm not talking about experimentation, I'm talking about check the box here, scream out from the mountains, full-blown LESBIANISM. My question is why?

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against anyone's sexual orientation. Honestly, I don't really give a damn about anything unless it affects me. I'm selfish that way. But I mean, it's something that is easily noticed. The Gay Pride Parade alone shows how much of a force they have just in NY. Then all around the country, you see pictures of the happy lesbian couples getting marred in states that allow.

It's just like, where are they all coming from? Is it because they feel like it's more accepted? It's no longer taboo to be a lesbian and now everyone can be free about it? With media pillars like Ellen DeGeneres & Cynthia Nixon being open about their sexual preferences, everyone is just okay with it. [Because of course celebrities set the fuxking trend.] There's also the fact that it's more open in television. Before it used to be guys doing gay things to each other. And parents protested the hell out of that. Now we have shows like the L-Word, which is highly addictive, to encourage females to embrace their sexuality.

Are more girls just turning to lesbianism as a way to heal their hearts broken in heterosexual relationships? There's been a lot of man-hating lately. Keyshia Cole saw her record sales dive because she's on some real love shxt. Nobody is feeling that. Everywhere I go, all I hear is "niggas ain't shxt!" Guess, women are...

IDK. I'm actually happy about this increase. Woman more than double the amount of men on this earth. More lesbians = less competition = more guys for me. LMAO. But I was just curious.

Now I have to find out if there's been a boom in gay men. I think it's the case in NY is not more gay men, just more out of the closet. But at least they're not undercover anymore. Cheers to that! Because gay guys make the BEST friends. They're good at keeping secrets ;]

P.S. - If you're offended, speak on it. But don't be all pissed off, cursing & shxt. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

"Thick" Girls vs. Slim Chicks

Disclaimer: Fat/Large girls please, don't be upset. This is no disrespect. This is my opinion. You don't have to agree. Feel free to disagree, I'm all for it. And laugh, it's meant to be taken funny. Monique said skinny bitches are evil. I laughed, read the book and kept it moving. Still love her. Why? Cause only you can decide who and what you are. Keep that in mind.

So being a slim chick, this topic is close to my heart. LOL [I'm sorry, everyone says shxt like that so I thought I'd just take it there]

But honestly, there is an epidemic of people [of the larger persuasion] hating on slim chicks. Why is that? I don't understand what my body has to do with yours? I feel like a lot [not ALL] of "larger" chicks are insecure with their weight. That's the only explanation. And it pisses me off. The lies you tell yourself to get by are so sad. Let's run it down:

1. "Thick" girls have curves. - Might be true. The problem with this is the key word is thick. A lot of y'all are just over-motherfuxking-weight! You were not born to look like this! You just overstuffed your face and now you're a big girl. Big not thick. Therefore, your ass could be just as flat as an anorexic. I have seen many a fat girl wish for an ass, so you can't tell me shxt.

2. Slim girls [cause not every girl is skinny, they're just not big] can't cook. - I come from a Caribbean family. They teach you how to cook before you get to preschool. I was the only girl in kindergarten wondering why they gave us fake food in the kitchen area. I can cook up a variety of things thanks to my childhood. Eat that fat chicks!

3. Slim girls don't eat - Incorrect. It's been proven that slim people in general tend to overeat. People who are naturally slim tend to have a faster metabolism than the average person. They are usually active and need more energy, so their body is constantly sending hunger signals. That's why they tell you to exercise and be more active when you're younger, to speed up your metabolism, and stop childhood obesity.

4. Slim girls don't have curves. - wrong! I have seen many a slim girl built Ford tough. Please don't get it twisted. You can have a shape no matter what size you wear.

5. Slim girls tend to be hoes. - Now this one, I had to poll some dudes. I mean I just thought any girl in general could be a hoe, but my size 12 friend told me this one and I had to know. Most dudes said that they were with a lot of freaky slim chicks, but big girls overall tend to be freakier. Many believe it's because the girl felt they needed to put in more work to keep them. A lot of them talked about self-esteem issues. I don't really know about that, so I guess I'll go by them.

The list goes on, but this was a lot of typing already. Maybe I'll make this a continued series. This is going to be my topic for my independent psych study. Can't wait to get started next semester. Whoo! I see the fat mob heading for my house already. . .LMAO. Check out this youtube video I found dedicated to the big girls.