Dumb Broad!

I haven't blogged in a minute. busy w| getting classes, work, looking for work, and partying. It leaves me with a packed schedule. I don't even get to watch the shows I freaking DVR. But that's another story.

Why I am I writing today? Read the post title! I usually don't use that phrase. I find it offensive and demeaning. Yet sometimes, it just fits. I don't know what else to call these females that I see. Besides maybe pathetic. What's my issue you ask?

Everywhere I turn, there's a female taking crap from a dude! I'm not talking about an argument here or there, that's regular relationship stuff. I'm talking about outright verbal abuse! And for what? I do NOT understand why females continue to allow themselves to be put down, in 2009!

It's bad enough that we're still looked upon as second to males by many, but then you go and make it look like a reality. Newsflash: you can walk away. From any situation. A lot of people stay because of a fear that no one else will love them. They feel ugly. They need this person.

You don't need anyone who doesn't treat you how you deserve to be treated. Every person is unique, in whatever way. That uniqueness should be celebrated, always. Especially by the one you call your "significant other".

I'm tired of men, riding the bus and calling their girlfriend/wife a dumb whore. A slut. A needy child. You name it, I've heard it. And I'm disgusted every time. I often find myself having verbal arguments with these dudes. But at the end of the day, you can't change those who don't want to change.

That goes for the female as much as the male. If she chooses to continue to stay with him, she's taking a risk. A risk that her self-esteem will continue to lower until she has none left. A risk that the abuse can escalate to something physical. The risk that she may end up killing him because she just snaps one day.

It just pisses me off. And I know people will say, something probably happened to them in the childhood, etc. Those are excuses. Something happens to everyone, that's just fuxking life. I've had two major surgeries and stopped breathing during one. Whoop dee doo! Shit happens. You have to control your life and take responsibility for you. Because no one else will. Nor should they.

P.S. - The picture is the cast from the Vh1 show, "Tool Academy." They treat their girlfriends like utter shit and are awarded with $100,000 for it. Only in the USA.

Get With It Or Get Lost

warning: this is a rant, just to vent.

I'm so pissed right now. I hate when people try to complete change you instead of accepting you for who the fuxk you are! You knew who I was from the beginning. I didn't lie or pretend to be something I was not. I am me & that's pretty much all I can be. Gradual changes comes with growth, but a complete 180 is impossible. Just like it's impossible for an alcoholic to be cured. You can only take it one freaking day at a time. And you have to want to better yourself. And honestly, I don' think there's anything major wrong with me.

Is it wrong to say I don't care & actually NOT care?
Wrong to dress for me & ONLY me?
Wrong to say what I feel and NOT lie to you?
Wrong to be honest [brutally] when it's what you NEED to hear?
Wrong to go out & enjoy myself?
Wrong to just live my life my way WITHOUT hurting anyone?

Why the hell can't I be who I want to be. I can give a fuxk about society & fitting in & doing like everyone else. I'm nothing like anyone else. I'm ME. That's good enough for me & the rest of the people I allow in my life. And if you don't like it, fuxk off & keep it moving. It may hurt for a while, but trust me I'll live. I've lived through worse.

I wish you nothing but the best though.

RelationWHAT; justacuttybuddy

IDK why people always come to me for relationship advice? As if they don't know I'm very blunt & honest. I'm not gonna BS to make you feel better. But here is what someone brought to me recently. . .

At one of my normal get togethers, a close friend of mine (Taylor) and an acquaintance (no name) hooked up. [Not actually in my house cause EWWW!] They met there and hooked up, whatever. Now Taylor is a blunt kind of dude and told no name that he had a girl and was not trying to be in a relationship with her. Said girl was hooked on the sex and told him that she would be fine with playing the sidelines. So this continued on for about 2mos.

All of a sudden, said girl comes to me like "you need to talk to Taylor about how he's stringing me along & cheating on his girlfriend." Umm, que? One, whythefuxk am I the one who must speak with him and two, stringing along? From jump, you knew what he was looking for out of the relationship.

Ahh, here is the issue. A relationship. You're not in one. You can't expect all the benefits of being in one when you're the side girl. You also can't be madd if you get tired of it & he cuts you loose. I mean, he was straight with you from the beginning. He could have been very mean and kept his business to himself. He put it all on the table and you accepted.

Why do people expect everything to just morph into something different? When people say they want to be with you and not in a relationship it's usually for two reasons: they don't want a relationship but need to be fulfilled in some kind of way [emotionally, sexually, and mentally etc.] or they don't feel like you're the type of person they would want a relationship with at the moment.

I'm sorry if that hurts, you suddenly feel like you can do better or you thought you could convincemake it something more, but that's not the other person's fault. I personally hate when boys all of a sudden get attached and then get all possessive, jealous, etc. You can't force people into a relationship. Remember, you're just the cutty buddy. Don't overstep the boundaries.

Also remember, if you choose you can leave & find someone else where you can be more than that. It's all up to you.

Porn Is So. . .BORING!

So my male friends said girls are NOT suppose to watch porn. I guess writing this is incriminating myself. But I only really spend any time with males! I guess that's just an excuse. Oh wells, I have to discuss this.

Porn is so boring! Now, I'm not naive. I know the point of porn is to get people aroused, etc. Yet, I remember back in the days when they used to have story lines. Interesting ones at that!

My favorite was about this woman who was an assassin. She used to have sex with all her marks before she killed them. Then she had sex with one guy and fell in love cause the sex was that good. But he had been hired by 3 mothers of some of the people she killed to eliminate her. He fell in love too. So the mothers ended up fucking his brains out and then killing him. The assassin figures out what happened, killed two of the mothers. The last one was like her mentor, so of course she lost. But they ended up being a lesbian couple.

Now that was a great porno. Nowadays it seems like people are just watching Ayana Angel and Pinky fuxking a different guy every video. Barely any foreplay and it doesn't matter where they do it. Now sad to say, some men use these women as guide to the type of females they want in their lives. Even sadder to say, many guys get their sex skills from these videos.

Imagine some guy slobbing all over a girl's vagina for all of like 3 seconds and thinking he has great head game. Imagine her doing it to him for like 20 minutes and him thinking that is what foreplay entails. Then he pumps her missionary and doggy style for like 10 minutes yelling expletives and thinking he's the shit. Then imagine all of this happening in what looks like your parents' basement, shitty lighting and ugly ass never used furniture included. Ooh and don't forget the girl coming in with no bra, just a tacky fishnet outfit and him keeping his dirty ass sneakers on the whole time.

And how can I forget about the sunglasses?! Sunglasses are the new condoms! You must have them on at all times. SMH. And want really creeps me out about these cheap motel fucks? The random observers. You can see people all watching when the camera hits a mirror and I'm like who the eff is that?! Then sometimes they actually speakcheer on the fuxking couple. Am I the only one creeped out by this? Like wtf? Guess porn stars don't care about the privacy. Or awkwardness.

The future generations should be afraid, very afraid. This is what sex will be like for you. SMH!

P.S. - I think I might start petitioning for pornos to have a storyline. Who's with me?

New Year. . .Same Me

It's 2009. With all the hype about it, I figured it would be way more exciting.

It seems everyone wants to change who they are in '09. Transformations abound. Is it weird that I want to stay exactly the same? I mean, growth comes with every situation you experience. But it seems that people on trying to make total 180s. From a Beyonce to a Sasha Fierce. Yet I want to stay me.

I'm comfortable with who I am. It's taken a lot of time & energy to get to a place where I can honestly say, I like me. I like the way I look, think, communicate, feel and live. I wake up every morning just glad to be me. I put in too much work to go around becoming a different person.

In '09, I'm focusing on the people that surround me. I want to have people that can help me have the right experiences. People who are focused on their goals [whatever they may be] and becoming a better person but not a different person. People who can accept that I come with flaws, but see that my strengths outshine them all. People that love me for me, period.

I also want to grind more. I became a little laid-back and satisfied with where I was at, which is wrong. There is no rest for the hungry. You grind, grind and then grind some more. I need to start going out to more events, writing more, doing more internships, probably go back to Canada. Just do more. I'm setting the bar higher for me and my wonderful group of talented individuals. '09 is the year for the people who deserve more or just better. Let's get it.